The Resilience of Personal Relationships During COVID-19
A letter to my family and friends about COVID-19 vaccines
Early on in the pandemic, it seemed fairly obvious to me that many of the aggressive management strategies being employed by governments around Australia (and the world) had the clear capacity to backfire, and backfire badly. At first, I spoke fairly openly to people in my personal circles about my concerns that we may cause more damage than we prevent. I assumed that people who knew me would not question my sincerity and genuine concern about how these things might hurt others. In some cases I was right, but in others I was wrong. For some, the message I conveyed was perceived as selfishness, stupidity and a cavalier disregard for the safety of others.
My concerns were articulated more eloquently and publicly by esteemed doctors and scientists, such as those who formulated the Great Barrington Declaration, Doctors Jay Bhattacharya (Stanford University), Sunetra Gupta (Oxford University (Oxford University) and Martin Kulldorff (Harvard University). Seeing these highly qualified subject matter experts face a relentless campaign of vilification and character assassination as a result of their advice (which we now know was orchestrated and championed by US public health officials including Doctors Francis Collins and Anthony Fauci), made it clear that many people were not overly receptive to such views.
For the next several months (going on years), including well into the COVID-19 vaccine rollout, I largely avoided the topic of COVID-19 with friends and family to avoid conflict. I quietly attended our local rallies and met people who shared my horror at the introduction of COVID-19 vaccine mandates and the prospect (which subsequently became a reality) of recommending COVID-19 vaccination for all healthy children. I spoke openly and extensively with my husband, who was faced with the prospect of losing his job if he did not comply with our jurisdiction’s mandate. I wrote letters to federal and territory level politicians and health bureaucrats, healthcare professional regulatory agencies, and regulatory agencies overseeing the approvals and recommendations of medication. Most did not respond and those who did gave banal and generic replies which essentially suggested they were not responsible for the areas of concern and that I should direct my feedback to various other departments (which I had consistently already addressed; the ultimate game of ‘bureaucratic handball’ played out before my eyes).
As the COVID-19 vaccine rollout continued and COVID-19 vaccine mandates took effect in our jurisdiction (covering virtually all people working in paid and/or voluntary work), I became more anxious about the prospect of awkward conversations with loved ones. I wasn’t in paid work at the time, but I began having to withdraw from the volunteering roles I had taken on, and I was unable to participate in events I had previously committed to as an artist. My husband took leave from his job in order to comply with the Chief Health Officer directions underpinning the COVID-19 vaccine mandate, but his employers continued to pursue him relentlessly and it became increasingly difficult to keep our personal medical decisions private.
It was around this time that I had an epiphany; I was sick of hiding. I had made a decision about my health, with full consideration to all aspects and in consultation with trusted resources, and despite what the government and media falsely asserted (and infuriatingly continue to assert in some cases), my decision did not adversely impact the health and wellbeing of others (any more than a vaccinated person could). I decided to ‘out’ myself on my previously deactivated Facebook account so that anyone who might be so offended by my decision as to cut me out of their lives, could do so. I was tired of worrying daily about this potential outcome; it was time to tear off the bandaid.
I wrote a letter from the heart, and I share it with you now, below:
9th January, 2022
A Letter to My Family and Friends about COVID-19 Vaccines:
This letter is not intended to incite an argument, it is simply to explain my personal view.
Similarly, it is not individual medical advice.
To My Dearest Loved Ones,
This is one of the most difficult things I’ve ever written. It is difficult because I don’t seek to bring attention to myself and I would much rather just go about my life in relative anonymity; it is difficult because I care for you all and I care what you think of me; it is difficult because I care for others and our collective wellbeing as a community; and it is difficult because once I write and publish these words, they can never be unwritten, unsaid, unheard or unread.
Towards the start of 2021, during the course of my postgraduate studies in counselling, I completed an assignment which asked students to discuss the role and responsibility of the counsellor from a professional, legal and ethical perspective. The summary of my position in this assignment was as follows:
“My personal values align with Kitchener’s (1984, as cited in McLeod & McLeod, 2011) basis for ethical decision-making which prioritises individual freedom, welfare promotion, harm minimisation, equity, honesty and reliability. I believe this will likely minimise conflicts between my personal and professional responsibilities, however when conflicts do arise, I must acknowledge my ultimate responsibility to myself and my fundamental interpretation of what is ‘right’.”
Writing this summary I felt deeply confident in my ‘moral compass’ and in my ability to navigate complex situations involving clinical ethics; after all, I have maintained a demonstrated capacity over years of work as a critical care nurse. I could not have predicted that in a matter of months I would be forced to put my proverbial ‘money where my mouth is’.
Over the past several months, as the COVID-19 vaccine rollout continued to grow ever more aggressive, my “fundamental interpretation of what is ‘right’” has been vigorously challenged and after significant self-reflection I can see that in order to live with congruence and integrity, I must be clear about where I stand.
I believe COVID-19 vaccine mandates are unnecessary, unjustified and unethical. They are harmful public health policy ironically marketed as concern for our health. They are the antithesis of everything I stand for as a person and as a healthcare professional. I am horrified that my profession (and others) is participating in the application of these mandates without any obvious pushback.
I have chosen not to receive a COVID-19 vaccine. The case for getting vaccinated to protect others has not been sufficiently made, and on the basis of the current information I do not see that COVID-19 vaccination will significantly reduce my personal risk from COVID-19. I am not anti-vaccine and I am not vaccine hesitant. I have carefully weighed up all the relevant information and I absolutely believe this is the best decision for me.
If you got a COVID-19 vaccine by choice prior to the mandates, I support your true choice. If you were forced to be vaccinated because of a mandate, I support you and I’m so sorry you have been treated this way. If you have chosen to remain unvaccinated until a specific COVID-19 vaccine that you are more comfortable with becomes available, I support you. If you have weighed up all the information relevant to your personal situation and you have decided not to receive a COVID-19 vaccination, I support you.
I also have concerns about the impending COVID-19 vaccine roll-out aimed at all children aged between five and eleven years, due to begin tomorrow (10/01/2022). As most of you know, I do not have children myself and I would not presume to tell others how to parent and care for their children. I believe parents and children should be supported by their doctors (who are free from inappropriate threats of professional reprimand) to make the best decision for them; it is not the responsibility of children to protect us adults. I encourage all parents (and children) to ask questions and ensure you are satisfied you have adequate information with which to make an informed and consensual decision. Any attempts by government or other organisations to mandate COVID-19 vaccination for children is ethically indefensible.
For some people, this letter will be upsetting. I have encountered various reactions to my choice and my opposition to coercion and mandates at a local level, both in person and via the media. Some of you may not feel any sympathy for me and the situations of exclusion I find myself in as a consequence of my decision. Some of you may feel angry with me and believe the labels thrown around in the media are justified, such as ‘stupid’, ‘selfish’, ‘anti-vax’ and ‘anti-science’. Some of you may delete me from social your social media, and few of you may even feel so strongly that you do not wish to continue our friendship. While I hope none of these things happen, I accept I cannot change the feelings and opinions of others, even those of whom I love and respect. Whatever your own position and decisions and regardless of whether you support me or not, I wish you love, light, happiness, community and good health going forward in 2022.
Sincerest and most heartfelt best wishes,
Laine. X
The response was small, but not negative. Those who commented were supportive; those who I know disagree, either through previous face-to-face conversations or conversations with mutual friends, did not respond. I don’t believe anyone deleted me, but as I become more vocal that may change and I have to accept that I cannot influence others’ reactions, I can only be true to myself and bear any consequences.
The growing body of evidence gleaned from passive surveillance systems like VAERS, population level data such as government COVID-19 statistics and all cause mortality data, and feedback from insurance agencies regarding an increase in claims, raises serious questions about the ‘safe and effective’ mantra of national and international governments and many media outlets. Together with my own anecdotal experience (which may not be top tier evidence, but is evidence nonetheless), I am increasingly concerned about the potential for severe COVID-19 vaccine-induced harms at rates higher than those currently acknowledged by the Therapeutic Goods Administration (TGA). I’m not in a position to make any explicit claims myself, although I believe this data is alarming enough to warrant closer, good-faith examination before it can be dismissed in the way our governments, health bureaucrats and regulatory agencies have so casually done. There are several razor sharp doctors, scientists and mathematicians who are analysing this data and trying desperately to raise the alarm, including (but certainly not limited to) Jessica Rose, Matthew Crawford and Norman Fenton. If you haven’t already, read their work and make your up your own mind.
References:
McLeod, J. & McLeod, J. (2011). Counselling Skills: A Practical Guide for Counsellors and Helping Professionals. McGraw-Hill Education.
Awesome letter! I am so glad I discovered your Substack. :)
I was loudly questioning the covid vaccines from Feb. 2021 onward and only got more vociferous as time went on. I never gave a shit what anyone thought about me. 🤣 This was easier for a couple of reasons. I'm more of a lone wolf type, and this is not remotely my first rodeo with medical corruption, negligence, etc. I know that several people who remain true believers in the vaccines found this alienating. Oh well! They are not the ones who have been segregated from and marginalized from society, so I don't feel too badly. Unfortunately over the long haul, they are probably going to be paying for their decisions more than me, though, if they continue to subject themselves to these damned bioweapon injections. 🤣 Sigh. You can't fix stupid. Darwin Doin Work.